Little Magpie

chasing shiny objects

By

On Ancient Sea Monsters, Wine, Super Powers & NickMom

I recently spent part of my evening swilling wine – yes, I know that part is not uncommon – and perusing the offerings at NickMom.com (as part of a sponsored post for the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community).
My wine habit remains tragically unsponsored, which is shocking considering that I’m frequently told that my references to it in ratio to other topics on social media and in conversation are quite impressive.
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I use this image so frequently to send good cheer to friends via text that I had to save it to my favorites. Obviously.

It sort of reminded me of the way I used to read the comics on Saturday mornings over breakfast because the rest of the paper was so bo-ring.  It also occurred to me that I don’t read them anymore because apparently I’m masquerading as a grown-up (?) and now actually read the news.  However, I still deserve “the funnies” (as my Dad calls them)!  Enter NickMom.
While I was aware that NickMom programming came on around the time my kids ought to have visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads, I hadn’t paid much attention to it.  When our oldest was little, she hardly watched television and I was (and still am) busy being better than thou about it, having not grown up watching much myself and being determined to parent an independent, brilliant child who entertained herself.
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A likely kraken: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne (1870). Also a fairly typical snapshot of life Chez Stephens.

Enter The Kraken, child numero dos, who is what we call with gritted teeth “a strong-willed child.”  As I’ve mentioned before, we’ve called her this for some time based on Liam Neeson as Zeus in Clash of the Titans (2010) yelling “Release the Kraken!” in reference to ancient lore about a threatening sea monster from Hades.  Apparently Liam had one at his disposal (so smart), whereas I simply delight myself in occasionally shouting his line when her feet hit the ground each morning.  She is lucky she is cute.  We have also been known to refer to her as Young Kim Yong Il, since she often behaves like a pouty dictator and shares the former North Korean Supreme Leader’s defensiveness about stature (“I’m a big girl, Mommy,” she says, stamping her feet…) as well as his tendency toward hissy fits.
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You see? The child is a menace to society. Look at the way she is squeezing the very life out of her prey…

Couple the fact that I work from home as a marketing and PR consultant and strategist with her concept that I am actually her personal assistant, and suffice it to say that I live in a whole new world where Nickelodeon and NickJr are frequently on in the background as I dash to my desk to churn out a project during the limited duration of Max & Ruby.  Speaking of which, why can’t these episodes be longer??  Those rabbits are my lifeline.

Anyway, suffice it to say that when I took a little time to check out NickMom.com, I was immediately delighted to find an entry in the “LOL” section (all the fun of infographics but with no meaningful outcome other than your entertainment) titled What Your Wine Choice Says About You.
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I won’t spoil the other entries for you, but…

Yes, please.  Given the fact that I learned from my mother to freeze wine glasses for summer sipping.  Despite the fact that I lean more toward red wine (please reference shiraz on the aforementioned list), this is an absolute genius move.  And if you must know, the specific technique is to freeze half a glass of the wine itself, and then pour more chilled wine on top, creating a wine slushy.  You try this in August and tell me it’s not the best thing ever.  And yes, when you check the chardonnay reference, you’ll see the truth about me.  Best find on the website?  Homework Fails.  My favorite is the simple math problem with a blank for the student explain how they found the answer.  “I started out by thinking then the answer came to me.”  I can relate to homework humor.
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You might want to be careful around me. Apparently my super power is ice.

This week, my oldest insisted that “drinken” is in fact a word which is the past tense of drink.  I assured her that I have studied two foreign languages at the college level, am fairly adept at conjugating verbs and work in a profession that requires writing (and proper spelling) for a living, but it turns out that I am just off the turnip truck and that I don’t know much of anything.  Le sigh.  NickMom.com and that big box of wine, here I come.

Comments

  3. summerdf says

    Seriously! Wine Slushy? OMG! I want in on that one! I indulged in a red zinfandel wine spritzer tonight. I felt like an 88 year old woman. It was awesome. My wine usage isn’t much censored either so I can totally appreciate you. Totes. I’m also glad that my eldest isn’t the only person in the world who knows more about grammar than his mama.