There has been much made lately of how we are all tripping the light fantastic.
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We are – it would seem – positioning our lives as nearly perfect vis a vis social media.
On Facebook, we glowingly reference the perfect day our family has just had all together, surrounded by the perfect sunset while snuggling.
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On Instagram, we catch the light just so as it defracts across the table and our perfect meal.
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On Twitter, the hashtags abound as we share – in the briefest of choreographed snippets – how the day transpired.
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Hauntingly, we hear about so many who seem to have had it all together – online – and whose lives were actually tearing apart at the seams.
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There is much for us to learn about how we view reality and how essential it is that we understand that life is imperfect.
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And yet, I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t okay to stage things just so and to present the best of our everyday moments.
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Many of us write journals or attend counseling sessions with the sole purpose of capturing what it is we are thankful for… moments of gratitude or the very best parts of our day.
This is exactly how social media and online channels feel to me. I look back at my challenging day or the trials and tribulations I’ve just hurdled, and I think “But look! Wasn’t that fleeting moment perfect, especially against the backdrop of all the ones that were not?”
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As children, we push back against the ones who raise us… because we think know better and feel more deeply. But one day, we look back at the people who molded and hopefully loved us, and we want to thank them… so we daydream about how it was and what we learned, and we try to grasp those fleeting moments before they dissipate.
As siblings, we love and lash out… because these are people who know us better than we know ourselves, and it is uncomfortable and tense to feel so exposed. But time marches on and we crave the comfort of these people who know and still tolerate us, who know what we’ve come from and – better than us – where we are going.
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As part of a couple, we buck up against one another… because that’s what happens when you put opinionated adults in a tight space together. But sometimes, we lean on each other or cross our ankles in a similar pattern, and it feels like we got that one thing right… and that is what we highlight for the world as a beacon of hope.
As parents, we do what feels right in the moment… because we don’t have time to vet the best options or lead with our heads over our hearts. But later, we realize there are things we meant to convey… and so we creep back alongside their beds and we kiss them and whisper that we love them as we watch their breathing rise and fall.
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We do all these things as friends and colleagues and fellow humans. With the ubiquity of social media, we’ve started broadcasting our stories: our successes and our setbacks, the things we know and the things we love, the little moments that stand out for us as perfect.
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The definition of “gloat” is to contemplate or dwell on one’s own success or another’s misfortunate with smugness or malignant pleasure.
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But maybe we shouldn’t think that another person’s tweet or shared photo is a falsehood.
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Maybe we should understand that it is her moment of pride, his biggest success or her most guarded thought laid raw. Maybe these are just people getting through another day or week and delighting in the one small thing they got just right… and placing it out there for all of us to examine as judge and jury.
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Maybe we really are just sharing the beauty in the mundane, the moments that used to slip through our hands that we can now hold and admire a little longer.
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Maybe our lens could benefit from a rosier, softer tone. Maybe – just maybe – we could all take it down just one notch.
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